1. Anton Chekhov, The Bishop (This entire website is wonderful, by the way.)
2. Henry James, The Figure in the Carpet (It's hard to get enthusiastic about starting a James novel, but the short stories are almost always fun to read, particularly the ones about art and artists.)
3. Vladimir Nabokov, Signs and Symbols (I'm not a huge Nabokov fan, but this story is incredible.)
4. D.H. Lawrence, Odour of Chrysanthemums (As I mentioned in an earlier list, he was 24 when he wrote this. Man.)
5. Thomas Hardy, The Withered Arm (My favorite supernatural story, although I'm not too well-read in the genre.)
6. Frank O'Connor, My Oedipus Complex (My favorite short story writer in English. His very best aren't available online, I don't think, but this is a good one.)
7. James Joyce, Araby (There are probably better stories in Dubliners, but I like this one the best.)
8. Flannery O'Connor, Everything That Rises Must Converge (She's always struck me as a rather nasty writer, but this story is undeniably great.)
9. Leo Tolstoy, How Much Land Does a Man Need? (Joyce called this the greatest story in the history of Western literature. I think he might have been being facetious, since it is not even close to the best story Tolstoy wrote, but I still like it. It is a page turner, or in this case a screen scroller.)
10. William Carlos Williams, The Use of Force (This whole website is a good resource for people stuck for long periods in front of a computer.)
Suggest your own, as my job is unlikely to get more interesting in the one month I have left.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Top 10 Communist Monuments to Visit
Mao Mausoleum (and other Communist monuments on Tiananmen Square to include the Monument to the People's Heroes and the Great Hall of the People) - Beijing
The Stalingrad memorial on Mamayev Kurgan - Volgograd
The Grand Monument to Kim Il-Sung - Pyongyang
Lenin's mausoleum (I would include all of Red Square but Lenin's waxy corpse is about the only Communist bit left on it since they closed the Lenin Museum) - Moscow
A pair of heads:
- The largest Lenin head in the world - Ulan Ude
- The largest Karl Marx head in the world - Chemnitz
Stalin World - outside of Vilnius (technically not a monument by Communists, but deserves a mention)
Palace of Culture and Science - Warsaw
The Weltzeituhr (World Time Clock) in Alexanderplatz - Berlin
Technically not a monument by Communists, but a personality cult monument: the Neutrality Arch in Niyazov featuring the famous statue of the late Turkmenbashi
And ... The Monument to the Third International by Vladimir Tatlin (if only it had been built ... of course, it would have collapsed under its own weight ... but the plans are impressive to examine today)
The Stalingrad memorial on Mamayev Kurgan - Volgograd
The Grand Monument to Kim Il-Sung - Pyongyang
Lenin's mausoleum (I would include all of Red Square but Lenin's waxy corpse is about the only Communist bit left on it since they closed the Lenin Museum) - Moscow
A pair of heads:
- The largest Lenin head in the world - Ulan Ude
- The largest Karl Marx head in the world - Chemnitz
Stalin World - outside of Vilnius (technically not a monument by Communists, but deserves a mention)
Palace of Culture and Science - Warsaw
The Weltzeituhr (World Time Clock) in Alexanderplatz - Berlin
Technically not a monument by Communists, but a personality cult monument: the Neutrality Arch in Niyazov featuring the famous statue of the late Turkmenbashi
And ... The Monument to the Third International by Vladimir Tatlin (if only it had been built ... of course, it would have collapsed under its own weight ... but the plans are impressive to examine today)
Saturday, June 9, 2007
The 10 Movies Whose Presence In The IMDb Top 250 Is Most Galling
I know no one takes this list seriously as an index of considered critical judgement, or even ordinary good taste, but it continues to bug me anyway. Perhaps that's because the Top 250 does reflect, in a weird hybrid way, both established film-history judgements and authentic popular choice. Normally that kind of combination works pretty well for my taste--and there are lots of good movies on the list. But their presence only makes the absurdly overrated stinkers more irritating...
In reverse order of IMDb rating:
10. #219 - Stalag 17 (1953). Just to show that I'm not a historical snob. This is a fine WWII POW movie, but it's also dorky, dated, and unmemorable. One of the Top 250's many problems is that it overrates the 'Golden Age' of the '50s (37 films) and underrates the 'New Hollywood' period of the '70s. No way Stalag 17 deserves this position ahead of, say, Straw Dogs.
9. #214 - Cinderella Man (2005). I haven't even seen this, and its presence here still galls me tremendously. I won't complain about Gladiator, because I understand big historical epics do well on this kind of list, but do we need TWO Russell Crowe movies in the Top 250? That's embarrassing.
8. #197 - Magnolia (1999). This is up there with A.I., I Heart Huckabees, and Igby Goes Down in my personal list of Most Hated Movies Of All Time. In fact I'd say this is my signature Most Hated movie. You have to go to Thesaurus.com and look up synonyms for 'pompous' and 'leaden' to fully appreciate how awful this film is. I'm confident the recent Hilary Swank 10-plagues-of-Egypt feature, The Reaping, did a better "Frogs" scene than this clanking monstrosity.
7. #130 - Crash (2005). All I'll say is that I disliked Crash before it was fashionable to dislike Crash. I'm actually surprised the post-Oscar backlash hasn't dropped this Academy embarrassment out of the Top 250 altogether.
6. #129 - V For Vendetta (2006). What the fuck? Seriously. This is the most surprising movie on here. Even more surprising, it apparently does better among women then men. Mysterious and very galling.
5. #122 - Children of Men (2006). The most overrated movie of 2006. It's not really all that different from V For Vendetta in its sophomoric futurism -- I used to think that was a snark, but according to the Top 250, it's a mark of distinction. Blech.
4. #96 - Braveheart (1995). OK, so I said I wouldn't complain about about popular historical epics, but this is an exception. What a piece of crap! And just to prove that I'm not a blind Mel Gibson-hating Jew, I thought Apocolypto was very, very good. But if you add a few slaves-who-aren't-really-slaves to Braveheart, you have the The Patriot, don't you?
3. #63 - Reservoir Dogs (1992). I'm sure this will raise a few eyebrows, but I detest this movie. Truly pointless violence. Violence so "cool" and so idiotic that it could only be immortalized in a frat boy college poster. Peckinpah would vomit Beast Lite all over himself if he lived to see it.
2. #29 - Fight Club (1999). Same college-poster bullshit as Reservoir Dogs, only combined with a truly vapid "existential" mindfuck.
1. #2 - The Shawshank Redemption (1995). The Most Quietly Overrated Movie Of All Time. Somehow, between 1995 and 2005, this film went from absorbing (if manipulative) prison flick, to middlebrow cult classic, to THE SECOND GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. I know it's not Tim Robbins' and Morgan Freeman's fault that they're naturally wooden and self-serious. But how did this happen? Not only is Shawshank #2 all time, it's also the single most voted-on movie in the entire top 250, and, as far as I can make out, on the entire IMDb site. How did this happen? It's extremely galling.
In reverse order of IMDb rating:
10. #219 - Stalag 17 (1953). Just to show that I'm not a historical snob. This is a fine WWII POW movie, but it's also dorky, dated, and unmemorable. One of the Top 250's many problems is that it overrates the 'Golden Age' of the '50s (37 films) and underrates the 'New Hollywood' period of the '70s. No way Stalag 17 deserves this position ahead of, say, Straw Dogs.
9. #214 - Cinderella Man (2005). I haven't even seen this, and its presence here still galls me tremendously. I won't complain about Gladiator, because I understand big historical epics do well on this kind of list, but do we need TWO Russell Crowe movies in the Top 250? That's embarrassing.
8. #197 - Magnolia (1999). This is up there with A.I., I Heart Huckabees, and Igby Goes Down in my personal list of Most Hated Movies Of All Time. In fact I'd say this is my signature Most Hated movie. You have to go to Thesaurus.com and look up synonyms for 'pompous' and 'leaden' to fully appreciate how awful this film is. I'm confident the recent Hilary Swank 10-plagues-of-Egypt feature, The Reaping, did a better "Frogs" scene than this clanking monstrosity.
7. #130 - Crash (2005). All I'll say is that I disliked Crash before it was fashionable to dislike Crash. I'm actually surprised the post-Oscar backlash hasn't dropped this Academy embarrassment out of the Top 250 altogether.
6. #129 - V For Vendetta (2006). What the fuck? Seriously. This is the most surprising movie on here. Even more surprising, it apparently does better among women then men. Mysterious and very galling.
5. #122 - Children of Men (2006). The most overrated movie of 2006. It's not really all that different from V For Vendetta in its sophomoric futurism -- I used to think that was a snark, but according to the Top 250, it's a mark of distinction. Blech.
4. #96 - Braveheart (1995). OK, so I said I wouldn't complain about about popular historical epics, but this is an exception. What a piece of crap! And just to prove that I'm not a blind Mel Gibson-hating Jew, I thought Apocolypto was very, very good. But if you add a few slaves-who-aren't-really-slaves to Braveheart, you have the The Patriot, don't you?
3. #63 - Reservoir Dogs (1992). I'm sure this will raise a few eyebrows, but I detest this movie. Truly pointless violence. Violence so "cool" and so idiotic that it could only be immortalized in a frat boy college poster. Peckinpah would vomit Beast Lite all over himself if he lived to see it.
2. #29 - Fight Club (1999). Same college-poster bullshit as Reservoir Dogs, only combined with a truly vapid "existential" mindfuck.
1. #2 - The Shawshank Redemption (1995). The Most Quietly Overrated Movie Of All Time. Somehow, between 1995 and 2005, this film went from absorbing (if manipulative) prison flick, to middlebrow cult classic, to THE SECOND GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. I know it's not Tim Robbins' and Morgan Freeman's fault that they're naturally wooden and self-serious. But how did this happen? Not only is Shawshank #2 all time, it's also the single most voted-on movie in the entire top 250, and, as far as I can make out, on the entire IMDb site. How did this happen? It's extremely galling.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
15 Best Songs About Rivers
A slight edge was granted to songs about actual rivers, instead of those that used them only as a poetic device. Songs about canals were included as being somehow riverlike.
1. The Pogues, The Broad Majestic Shannon (A magical song, one of my absolute favorites.)
2. Woody Guthrie, The Grand Coulee Dam (Columbia River)
3. Johnny Cash, Big River (Mississippi River) Beating out Proud Mary and god knows how many others...
4. The Kinks, Waterloo Sunset (Thames River)
5. Brendan Behan, The Banks of the Royal Canal Discovered through Dylan's beautiful cover on the Basement Tapes.
6. Traditional, I Am a Pilgrim (Jordan River)
7. Sufjan Stevens, Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Stepmother! (Sangamon River)
8. Thomas Allen, Erie Canal
9. Traditional, Shenandoah (Missouri River)
10. Muddy Waters, Rollin' and Tumblin' (If the river was whiskey... Here we enter the realm of the poetic device - although maybe not.)
11. Radiohead, How to Disappear Completely (Liffey River)
12. Nick Drake, River Man
13. The Standells, Dirty Water (Charles River) One of the least convincing badboy anthems every recorded, making it the perfect song for Boston.
14. REM, Find the River (No actual river, but it deserves credit for mentioning more plants than any other song in recorded history.)
15. Ron Sexsmith, Riverbed (One of the world's greatest songwriters, and still rather underappreciated.)
1. The Pogues, The Broad Majestic Shannon (A magical song, one of my absolute favorites.)
2. Woody Guthrie, The Grand Coulee Dam (Columbia River)
3. Johnny Cash, Big River (Mississippi River) Beating out Proud Mary and god knows how many others...
4. The Kinks, Waterloo Sunset (Thames River)
5. Brendan Behan, The Banks of the Royal Canal Discovered through Dylan's beautiful cover on the Basement Tapes.
6. Traditional, I Am a Pilgrim (Jordan River)
7. Sufjan Stevens, Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Stepmother! (Sangamon River)
8. Thomas Allen, Erie Canal
9. Traditional, Shenandoah (Missouri River)
10. Muddy Waters, Rollin' and Tumblin' (If the river was whiskey... Here we enter the realm of the poetic device - although maybe not.)
11. Radiohead, How to Disappear Completely (Liffey River)
12. Nick Drake, River Man
13. The Standells, Dirty Water (Charles River) One of the least convincing badboy anthems every recorded, making it the perfect song for Boston.
14. REM, Find the River (No actual river, but it deserves credit for mentioning more plants than any other song in recorded history.)
15. Ron Sexsmith, Riverbed (One of the world's greatest songwriters, and still rather underappreciated.)
Twenty-five Songs which might form part of a "forty minute classic rock block" or equivalent, but would rarely be heard in any other context
1. Bad Company, "Bad Company"
2. Styx, "Renegade"
3. Foreigner, "Juke Box Hero"
4. Eagles, "Tequila Sunrise"
5. Heart, "Barracuda"
6. Journey, "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'"
7. Rush, "The Spirit of Radio"
8. Doobie Brothers, "China Grove"
9. REO Speedwagon, "Keep on Loving You"
10. Boston, "Rock and Roll Band"
11. John Mellencamp, "R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A."
12. Bob Seger, "Her Strut"
13. Steve Miller Band, "Rock 'n Me"
14. Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Gimme Three Steps"
15. The Cars, "Good Times Roll"
16. Todd Rundgren, "Bang the Drum All Day"
17. Supertramp, "Logical Song"
18. ZZ Top, "Tush"
19. Molly Hatchet, "Flirting with Disaster"
20. Foghat, "Slow Ride"
21. Queen, "You're My Best Friend"
22. Eddie Money, "Take Me Home Tonight"
23. Fleetwood Mac, "Landslide"
24. Rick Derringer, "Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo"
25. Steely Dan, "Rikki Don't Lose That Number"
2. Styx, "Renegade"
3. Foreigner, "Juke Box Hero"
4. Eagles, "Tequila Sunrise"
5. Heart, "Barracuda"
6. Journey, "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'"
7. Rush, "The Spirit of Radio"
8. Doobie Brothers, "China Grove"
9. REO Speedwagon, "Keep on Loving You"
10. Boston, "Rock and Roll Band"
11. John Mellencamp, "R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A."
12. Bob Seger, "Her Strut"
13. Steve Miller Band, "Rock 'n Me"
14. Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Gimme Three Steps"
15. The Cars, "Good Times Roll"
16. Todd Rundgren, "Bang the Drum All Day"
17. Supertramp, "Logical Song"
18. ZZ Top, "Tush"
19. Molly Hatchet, "Flirting with Disaster"
20. Foghat, "Slow Ride"
21. Queen, "You're My Best Friend"
22. Eddie Money, "Take Me Home Tonight"
23. Fleetwood Mac, "Landslide"
24. Rick Derringer, "Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo"
25. Steely Dan, "Rikki Don't Lose That Number"
Friday, May 18, 2007
Top 10 Completely Insane TV Shows
Here's another opportunity for nostalgia
I have to say, I sorely miss ALL of these shows--especially Alf (shouldn't it be ALF?), Dinosaurs, and Herman's Head. Sitcoms have fallen SO far in the past 15 years that I am positive I would watch all three of those shows if they started running new episodes. What will kids today look back on fondly when it comes time for their list in 15 years? Two and a Half Men? At least Will Ferrell is working on a Land of the Lost movie.
I have to say, I sorely miss ALL of these shows--especially Alf (shouldn't it be ALF?), Dinosaurs, and Herman's Head. Sitcoms have fallen SO far in the past 15 years that I am positive I would watch all three of those shows if they started running new episodes. What will kids today look back on fondly when it comes time for their list in 15 years? Two and a Half Men? At least Will Ferrell is working on a Land of the Lost movie.
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