Thursday, May 10, 2007

The first use of each of George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" in the HBO original television series Deadwood

1) Shit:

Sol: (To Seth) Byron Samson's comin' for him.

Clell: (To Sol) Sir, would you please get the fuck out of here 'til we have finished our previous conversation?

Seth: (To Sol) How many in his play?

Sol: (To Seth) A dozen, shit faced. Samson just caved in Tommy Raymond's head over at the no-name frog. He went against it.

2) Piss

Byron: (Yelling in to Seth) All you're doin' stallin', Bullock, is pissin' me off!

3) Fuck

Clell: If I'd a got there, I'd a been prospectin'. Jesus Christ Almighty. No law at all. Gold you can scoop from the streams with your bare hands. And I gotta go and fuck myself up by supposedly stealing Byron Samson's horse.

4) Cunt

Jane: (Yelling to no one in particular) It's only Wild Bill Hickok you got stalled here in the muck! You ignorant fuckin' cunts.

5) Cocksucker [a particular Deadwood favorite]

Seth: That's a deal you loud mouthed cocksucker!

6) Motherfucker

Ellsworth: You're welcome! You conniving, heavy thumbed motherfucker.

7) Tits

Bill: (To a man at his table) Does bosom mean tit?

All in the first episode, four from the very first scene, two also from quite early on. Notably, none of them is first uttered by Swearengen.


As a bonus, each word's first use by Swearengen:

1) Shit:

Al: You don't shoot nobody 'cause that's bad for my business and it's bad for the camp's reputation. (Examining Trixie's bloody nose) He beat the living shit out of you, didn't he?

2) Piss

Al: (To the quieted crowd) Well, I guess when it starts pissin' rain in here, you know who to blame, huh?

3) Fuck

Al: Starting right the fuck with Custer gettin' himself massacred, it's been one thing after another.

4) Cunt

Al: (To Dan) That's her Derringer. I warned you about that loopy cunt!

5) Cocksucker

Ellsworth: (To Al) Now, with that Limey damn accent of yours, are these rumors true that you're descended from the British nobility?

Al: I'm descended from all them cocksuckers.

6) Motherfucker

Al: I fucking started this job, I’ll fucking finish it. (He points up to the roof of the Grand Central) This motherfucker.


[Oddly, this doesn't come until the third season.]

7) Tits

Al: Oh deep fuckin’ thinkers in Washington put forward that policy. This year though, so many soldiers desertin’ to prospect, give up the ghost let us all back in. And of course, Custer sorted out the fuckin’ Sioux for us, so now we’re all as safe as in our mother’s tits.

All but the last two from the pilot.

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